I look in the mirror and it’s not good. I think that maybe
the hot and humid climate will do me good. In just 24 hours.
20 minutes ago, on the bus, exhausted physically, nerves on
their very last thread of existence, I thought to myself that even if I do come
back to Geneva, even if I’m back in 3 months – It’s true, that a man can’t walk
twice into the same river, because the river isn’t the same river and the man
isn’t the same man. And Geneva is the worst of these rivers: it flows all the
time, always changing.
The emotional farewells were the last straw this evening.
Yes, I was tired, but I managed to play it cool until the first emotional
farewell. I’m not made for that. A final farewell should be the same as any
other farewell – I don’t think making it worse makes it any better. Am I right,
or am I just cold? Past my bedtime, in a half-empty bar in Paquis, I guess I
just ran out of energy.
But it was already earlier that it all started. It’s no fun
being far away when big (good) things are happening to your loved ones, and it
doesn’t feel good to be going even further away. Two beers and a good friend helped
me get over the sadness of a long-distance phone-call.
I had a masterplan, to spend my last day in Geneva doing
tourist things. I wanted to ride the mini-train, eat ice-cream in the old town,
take a picture with the flower clock and eat the same spaghetti carbonara I had
on my first day in Geneva. I didn’t do any of those things. Instead, I spent a
good part of my last free half-day running errands, waiting for things, or
wandering alone, bored in the cold.
And the morning was dedicated to cleaning: scrubbing,
vacuuming, wiping, washing, dusting, arranging. After having given up on my rubber
gloves already yesterday, I was surprised to see how quickly my hands get damaged.
Start hurting. Are offended. Start asking me hard questions about my choices.
This day started early, and yesterday ended late. I guess
it’s high time to end another day.
Written from Katia's guest bedroom, posted from Bangkok airport.
Has, I miss you!
ReplyDeleteIt wiill all be ok!
Kisses and lots of luck